I appreciate the outpouring of support and views since the creation of this site. The work from the 1st Collection is something that I created before graduating from my alma mater and has been resting on a flash drive for years. This work is ready to be published and in the following weeks I’ll be using what free time I have between teaching and graduate school to publish the work into a book that can find its way to others physical or digital libraries before the end of the year. I appreciate your patience. In the mean time I will continue to share a few more gems from the entire collection before they’re compiled into a finished product. I look forward to your continued support as I embark on this journey.
Collection I
Political Conversations – Dark Thoughts Reprise
Born in the era of George Bush –
no child left behind –
an institution created to fuck up the mind
start out with the incentives to get teachers
and students alike to stick to the books
don’t look left or right
what you see in front of you is all you’ll get
kids compete for seats
expressing in interviews at the age of six exactly how they’re unique
my mental hypothesis is that we have all lost it
Bush came in
fucked up the system
dipped out before we saw he robbed us blind
now his only remark
while we reap what he sowed –
“doesn’t bother me because I am fine” –
Do you think the devil will ever catch me?
tired of the color of my face
wonder if this apple you sold me has been laced
with subliminals
that sponsor inequality
racism and classism
when will there be the death of the next -ism that has defined our generation?
put us all in a chokehold
don’t you damn ever think twice
about the direction of your life
the devil is counting down
I sold him my best friend’s soul
and attached an I.O.U.
and when he read it, he said
“I’ll be knocking on your door
very soon.”
I’m wondering if these conversations with God
are valid when I’m this high
it’s only a matter of time
She’s getting closer to wiping my slate clean
freeing me from my sins
promising me that I can see my mother again
or is that just a fallen angel in disguise
fist bump the heavens to find the answers
this isn’t me at a rave
this is me at the church steps
demanding I be let in
for my baptism
Father, I have come to confess my sins
the only thing that I do fear is fear
I want my memory –
thoughts wiped from my mind
quiet the demons
silence them
so that the light at the end of the tunnel
shines brighter than
the sunset on the edge of the cliff
help grown men
stripped of their robes and crowns
discard their worn frowns
plaster smiles against the streets
blazoned in our blood
1st Degree Burns
Bic Lighters
&
Zippos
A child dances
in the flames
like a city crumbling
masquerading
in the scent of
Yankee Candle
the child rekindles
a flash of memory
4 weeks
12 hours
27 minutes
ago
Social Media and Gods
I wish Jesus would answer my text messages.
I wish Buddha could hear my pleas to reach Nirvana faster than I reach for my phone.
I was the Devil was real,
just so we could have a conversation.
I’d ask what he did to piss off God so much
so that I could get her attention
because right now
I need a deity.
I wish I could meditate
enough to unlock all my chakras
I miss when you used to tell me you loved me.
I wish this cup in my hand made me look cooler.
I just wish I was certain
about my maker
being there.
I want to know about
the finality of death.
I just want you to tuck me into bed.
I miss your kisses.
I wish I didn’t delete your numbers and voicemails.
orphaned
at fifteen
as if I haven’t
learned
that life is
uncertain.
dear Lord
dear Jesus
dear Universe
when I die,
can you
please delete my
Facebook
Twitter
Tumblr
Email Accounts
Pictures and Videos
on my computer & phone?
I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough.
I wonder if Jesus heard my last prayer.
I wonder if I was asking for too much again.
Explaining Structural Racism to my 7 year old Sister
Ashley,
it’s only 7am so
you can go back to sleep
if you want
Bro, we live in Brooklyn right?
Yeah
yeah we do
so?
NOW LEAVING BROOKLYN
Why is it that other than the kids
why are all the grown ups cleaning ladies and construction workers?
Because those are all the
people from our neck
of the woods who have to
be up
at this time, sis
NOW ENTERING MANHATTAN
So then
why is it when we
get past Wall St.
they’re all in
suits?
Because they’re on Wall St.
making the money that rules
the world
But why are all of them
white?
I’ll tell you why when we’re
both older
so I’ll be wise
enough to
tell you
but for now
I’ll tell you it has to do with
time
and eventually
we’ll have our time
like everyone else
k?
So
it’s only a matter
of time?
Another Eulogy
we sat in your bed
your hand
resting on my shoulder
The Godfather was playing
your lungs did not syncopate to the gun shots
for now
being with you could
make suffering bearable
I lingered by your side
I wanted to heal you
it was not the tears of your mother
nor the confusion of your daughter
it was the idea
that we would be fine
long after
you were gine
you would not see me
at 18
graduating from high school
you would not see me
at 22
graduating from college
but there you were
when I was 9
and I had to use a machine
to help me breathe
you lost sleep
but you watched over me
there you were
when I was 10
and had to be rushed
to the emergency room
there you were
when I was 12
and fractured my ankle
and was in a cast the whole summer
by my side
you remained
every single day of my life
helping me bear my pain
I only wish I could return the favor
I possess the resolve
to collect my bearings
bury the anecdotes of our life together
your unconditional love got me this far
I live now to make new memories for you
Tempt the Child with Freedom
I know you’ve been hurtin
bellow loudly
profanities
smearing the trinkets of your sanity
across the face of the man
you call your father
Sharpen your damn words child –
like that bits
of broken promises
that linger in your
ventricular valves
You want him to know
what he puts you through
You are still human
You are still a child
but he robs you of that
with each word –
fresh rose thorns
taunt your skin
when you beg for something rougher
Suicide ebbs and flows
into the thoughts of the
most beautiful 14 year old
girl I know
And there is nothing
that I can do
to change that
Feed her hope
Feed her praise
Feed her morality
Feed her bravery
Feed her empty nothings
give her everything
but what she craves most
She too
is a prisoner
HE
hit you at 15
and now he mystifies her
with words that evoke
(I can’t bring myself to write it)
The play is reaching the intermission soon
bystander
sitting in the nosebleed seats
If I really loved her,
why am I not doing
something meaningful
right now?
Love: Potion #35
Sobriety
is akin to
falling out of love
abruptly
and if you are not
strong
it will hurt
oh how it will hurt
wondering
why did I ever
put the bottle
down?
Pillow Talk: Hotel Conversations with a Porn Star
I’m a total Sub!
I’m thinking of leaving the business
I hate this kind of shit
Phone rings
half past midnight
Yeah, he’s totally jerking off right now
That’s a huge turn off
Well that happened to me
It’s a power dynamic
You like when I do that?
Most guys tell me they
love it when I do that
What does that mean?
I mean . . .
I have an oral fixation
I’m not trying to do this forever
Let’s stay in touch, okay?
You’re freaking awesome
it’s getting late
past 1 in the morning
interview in the morning
as she licks off the frosting
Valentine’s Day cookies she stole
nibbling on the corners
like an infant teething
but her gaze spoke
like a cardinal sin
It’s getting late
but the conversation is
young
and to stop
would be premature
Let’s stay in touch
and figure out
why we were meant
to meet
dreams connecting
déjà vu
Would it be rude of me
to tell you what I
wanna do to you right now?
Stars, the stuff we’re made of
What happens
when a star falls?
that can’t be right
stars don’t fall
they are born
when a nebula collapses
and traces of hydrogen and helium
condenses to the point where
no other elements
gain permission to enter this romance
and the molecules spin
colliding
causing chain reactions
until one moment
a gravitational pull
that allows it to rise out of
the chaos
born from a meteor shower
luminescent heavenly bodies
At one point
a star dies
when the marriage of hydrogen and helium disintegrates
hydrogen packs up everything it owns
and leaves the cluster that
helium and it has called home
helium throws parties
inviting in all elements
and matter
tying to fill the void
that hydrogen left behind
until helium just can’t stand anymore
gravity pulls
because helium let in too much
degenerative matter
that rotted helium
from its very core
until it one day
in the distant eons
poof
This was no ordinary poof
this was a controlled explosion
other systems looked on
as helium
marched over to the center of
its local nebula
and decided to poof so loudly
in a vibrant
colorfully
agonizing
display that sent shockwaves
felt throughout all of time
in the hopes that wherever
hydrogen was
it would hear helium’s plea
“Come back Helium”
dashing across universes
skating across starways both milky
and bleak
hydrogen walked into the mess
the torment
helium was causing itself
hydrogen entered that nebula
discharged all other elements
took helium’s hand
“I forgive you”
So don’t tell me that stars
fall
you’re talking about particles
debris
and comets
not the magnificent matter
that you and I
all life is made up of
because we fall
when our elements want a divorce
we fall
but force a resolution so that
we can get back up
We never witness
what we try to emulate fall
because if we saw that
would they be called stars anymore?
seantcjwriting 