Political Conversations – Dark Thoughts Reprise

Born in the era of George Bush –
no child left behind –
an institution created to fuck up the mind
start out with the incentives to get teachers
and students alike to stick to the books
don’t look left or right
what you see in front of you is all you’ll get
kids compete for seats
expressing in interviews at the age of six exactly how they’re unique
my mental hypothesis is that we have all lost it
Bush came in
fucked up the system
dipped out before we saw he robbed us blind
now his only remark
while we reap what he sowed –
“doesn’t bother me because I am fine” –

Do you think the devil will ever catch me?
tired of the color of my face
wonder if this apple you sold me has been laced
with subliminals
that sponsor inequality
racism and classism
when will there be the death of the next -ism that has defined our generation?
put us all in a chokehold
don’t you damn ever think twice
about the direction of your life
the devil is counting down
I sold him my best friend’s soul
and attached an I.O.U.
and when he read it, he said
“I’ll be knocking on your door
very soon.”

I’m wondering if these conversations with God
are valid when I’m this high
it’s only a matter of time
She’s getting closer to wiping my slate clean
freeing me from my sins
promising me that I can see my mother again
or is that just a fallen angel in disguise
fist bump the heavens to find the answers
this isn’t me at a rave
this is me at the church steps
demanding I be let in
for my baptism
Father, I have come to confess my sins
the only thing that I do fear is fear

I want my memory –
thoughts wiped from my mind
quiet the demons
silence them
so that the light at the end of the tunnel
shines brighter than
the sunset on the edge of the cliff
help grown men
stripped of their robes and crowns
discard their worn frowns
plaster smiles against the streets
blazoned in our blood

Social Media and Gods

I wish Jesus would answer my text messages.
I wish Buddha could hear my pleas to reach Nirvana faster than I reach for my phone.
I was the Devil was real,
just so we could have a conversation.
I’d ask what he did to piss off God so much
so that I could get her attention
because right now
I need a deity.

I wish I could meditate
enough to unlock all my chakras

I miss when you used to tell me you loved me.
I wish this cup in my hand made me look cooler.

I just wish I was certain
about my maker
being there.
I want to know about
the finality of death.

I just want you to tuck me into bed.
I miss your kisses.
I wish I didn’t delete your numbers and voicemails.

orphaned
at fifteen
as if I haven’t
learned
that life is
uncertain.
dear Lord
dear Jesus
dear Universe
when I die,
can you
please delete my

Facebook
Twitter
Tumblr
Email Accounts
Pictures and Videos
on my computer & phone?

I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough.
I wonder if Jesus heard my last prayer.
I wonder if I was asking for too much again.