Another Eulogy

we sat in your bed
your hand
resting on my shoulder
The Godfather was playing

your lungs did not syncopate to the gun shots

for now
being with you could
make suffering bearable

I lingered by your side
I wanted to heal you

it was not the tears of your mother
nor the confusion of your daughter

it was the idea
that we would be fine
long after
you were gine

you would not see me
at 18
graduating from high school

you would not see me
at 22
graduating from college

but there you were
when I was 9
and I had to use a machine
to help me breathe

you lost sleep
but you watched over me

there you were
when I was 10
and had to be rushed
to the emergency room

there you were
when I was 12
and fractured my ankle
and was in a cast the whole summer

by my side
you remained
every single day of my life
helping me bear my pain

I only wish I could return the favor

I possess the resolve
to collect my bearings
bury the anecdotes of our life together
your unconditional love got me this far

I live now to make new memories for you

Tempt the Child with Freedom

I know you’ve been hurtin

bellow loudly
profanities
smearing the trinkets of your sanity
across the face of the man
you call your father

Sharpen your damn words child –
like that bits
of broken promises
that linger in your
ventricular valves

You want him to know
what he puts you through

You are still human
You are still a child

but he robs you of that
with each word –
fresh rose thorns
taunt your skin
when you beg for something rougher

Suicide ebbs and flows
into the thoughts of the
most beautiful 14 year old
girl I know

And there is nothing
that I can do
to change that

Feed her hope
Feed her praise
Feed her morality
Feed her bravery
Feed her empty nothings

give her everything
but what she craves most

She too
is a prisoner

HE
hit you at 15
and now he mystifies her
with words that evoke

(I can’t bring myself to write it)

The play is reaching the intermission soon
bystander
sitting in the nosebleed seats

If I really loved her,
why am I not doing
something meaningful
right now?