Bic Lighters
&
Zippos
A child dances
in the flames
like a city crumbling
masquerading
in the scent of
Yankee Candle
the child rekindles
a flash of memory
4 weeks
12 hours
27 minutes
ago
Bic Lighters
&
Zippos
A child dances
in the flames
like a city crumbling
masquerading
in the scent of
Yankee Candle
the child rekindles
a flash of memory
4 weeks
12 hours
27 minutes
ago
we sat in your bed
your hand
resting on my shoulder
The Godfather was playing
your lungs did not syncopate to the gun shots
for now
being with you could
make suffering bearable
I lingered by your side
I wanted to heal you
it was not the tears of your mother
nor the confusion of your daughter
it was the idea
that we would be fine
long after
you were gine
you would not see me
at 18
graduating from high school
you would not see me
at 22
graduating from college
but there you were
when I was 9
and I had to use a machine
to help me breathe
you lost sleep
but you watched over me
there you were
when I was 10
and had to be rushed
to the emergency room
there you were
when I was 12
and fractured my ankle
and was in a cast the whole summer
by my side
you remained
every single day of my life
helping me bear my pain
I only wish I could return the favor
I possess the resolve
to collect my bearings
bury the anecdotes of our life together
your unconditional love got me this far
I live now to make new memories for you
I know you’ve been hurtin
bellow loudly
profanities
smearing the trinkets of your sanity
across the face of the man
you call your father
Sharpen your damn words child –
like that bits
of broken promises
that linger in your
ventricular valves
You want him to know
what he puts you through
You are still human
You are still a child
but he robs you of that
with each word –
fresh rose thorns
taunt your skin
when you beg for something rougher
Suicide ebbs and flows
into the thoughts of the
most beautiful 14 year old
girl I know
And there is nothing
that I can do
to change that
Feed her hope
Feed her praise
Feed her morality
Feed her bravery
Feed her empty nothings
give her everything
but what she craves most
She too
is a prisoner
HE
hit you at 15
and now he mystifies her
with words that evoke
(I can’t bring myself to write it)
The play is reaching the intermission soon
bystander
sitting in the nosebleed seats
If I really loved her,
why am I not doing
something meaningful
right now?